I wasn’t born during that time of year. My arrival to this oxygen –rich, commonsense –poor hunk of molten lava was December.

What were my parents thinking?

I can see it now…

Two new parents charged with caring for a child incompatible with life.

We’ll call her Autumn. A season known for death and decay. After all, the doctors estimate she’ll only live three months. That’s about the life expectancy of the season.

Thank the high heavens my parents weren’t deficient in decency or love or compassion.

The actual story of how I got my name is less cruel and creative.

From the time my mother wore Mary Jane’s and curl-rific pigtails, she always wanted a female child. If she was fortunate enough to have one, her first female offspring would be dubbed Autumn. 

I just happen to draw that lucky card. But you play the hand you’re dealt, and all that other moronic malarkey.

I’ve always thought my name was lackluster because my identity was hogtied to a season. 

Hell, I loathe…

Pumpkins, 

Sweaters,

And dry skin.

But what else could suffocate the sun-filled fun of summer? Ushering in diminishing daylight and temperature, killing foliage, and forcing furry creatures into hiding.

Autumn

It’s that powerful.

I may not be fond of my name. But by association, I’m powerful.

Just like your artwork.

So I’ve developed five fuck-tastic questions that when answered will help you name your artwork.

1. What type of medium did you use to create your piece? Maybe you’ve created a sculpture or painting or drawing. The medium may truly be the message.

2. Why did you create the piece? Maybe you were feeling depressed and the reason for the painting was to get it out of your mind.

3. When you look at the piece how do you feel? Maybe your piece elicits a sense of wonder and amazement. Emotions lead to a very wide variety of titles.

4. What were you trying to show with your piece? Maybe there’s hidden meaning and depth within your piece that isn’t immediately evident to your audience.

5. What are the keywords within your piece? Maybe you’ve created a landscape painting filled with trees or water or flowers. These are terms you can use when naming your piece.

Once you answer these questions, you’ll be able to cultivate a name for your artwork. A name says something about what the piece means to you as an artist, and it gives the viewer some clues while approaching the piece.

Because after spending all that time creating your piece, you don’t want to neglect its identity.

Or name it untitled. That’s disrespectful to you and your masterpiece.